Every Sunday, I get a weekly screen time notification on my phone. I rarely look at the details, rather just the number of hours it tells me. “Last week, your average screen time was 7 hours and 35 minutes.” And each week when I see the number, I act surprised as if I didn’t know I was on my phone that much. My business is online, so that makes sense. My mind will take a few moments to consider and justify, and then go about my day.

This is not a do this, don’t do that sort of post. It’s more an observation into behaviors and why Social Media detoxes are necessary for me from time to time.

Last month, I went on a personal retreat in Colorado. It was a much needed time to be in nature and unplug from all of the craziness happening in this world. When I left on my journey, I didn’t really plan in advance to take a break from social media, it happened organically. I became more aware of why I was posting. I would stop and ask myself, “Is this post contributing to the greater good or am I posting just for likes and comments?”

Oof. That last question got me. How often do I post just for attention? How much time do I spend going back to my Instagram stories to see how many people have viewed it? How often do I check likes and comments? Why do I care so much if this person liked or commented on my content and this person didn’t? That’s a lot of do’s.

I went on my retreat to BE, not DO.

The first time I remember actually going on a Social Media detox was in 2018. I was on a 10-day meditation retreat in Peru and wanted to be present to the transformation. I remember how difficult it was to not look at my phone. I noticed my tendency to have my phone right next to me at all times. What if I needed my phone to take a picture of something cool? What if I got a message or email that needed to be checked? As the 10 days progressed, I found it easier and less enticing to want to check my phone. I even stretched the detox 4 more days after the retreat to give myself time to re-integrate.

Over the past 2 years, I’ve spent a lot of time learning to BE. I meditate at least once a day. It supports me in the morning to shift my default energy of judgment to one of calm. It serves as a clean slate to starting each day fresh.

Meditation has taught me to BE more present and less distracted.

So this time around while on my personal retreat, I found it much easier to let go of my crutch of having my phone with me at all times. Each morning I would get up and not check messages or notifications from the night before. Instead, I would roll out of bed, brush my teeth and meet with my mentor Allison to meditate. I would go on long hikes and not take my phone. I found that I didn’t miss having it. It caused me to BE more present.

What caused me to take a break from Social Media?

Honestly, it was getting to be too much for me. We are constantly overloaded with media content whether it be with ads, news, individual posts, blogs, etc…the amount on content consumed on a daily basis is in the thousands. This particular time in our history is intense. Social Media has turned into a playground for business, politics, activism, and opinions, opinions, opinions…oh, and also, the whole “I’m right, and you’re wrong” act.

As I mentioned in my post “Where’d You Go, Robin?”, I reached a point of system overload. My Highly Sensitive self was literally going into survival mode. I had to take a step back.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy Social Media. It provides a platform for individuals to share their voices, stories, and creations. I use it for my business and as a way to stay connected with friends all over the world.

The moment it starts to take a hold on you though, is the moment you may consider taking a step back.

That’s what was happening to me. Social Media was taking a hold on me. I was getting consumed and impacted by the overload of opinions being shared and the amount of shaming I witnessed when others didn’t agree with others’ views or silence. I began judging my own posts and worrying about the perception of others. This is where Social Media becomes unhealthy for me. I focus too much on other’s perceptions of my posts or lack of posts.

Focusing on the perceptions of others is one of my biggest battles in life.

I constantly have this dialogue going in my head that thinks others are judging my every move. And while it’s unlikely that I provide that much attention for others, it is possible that others are saying stuff about me. We are human after all. When you’re in a healthy relationship with perception, you can notice the thought, acknowledge it, and dismiss it; in other words, not give power to it. Where perception (judgment, approval, acceptance, doubt) becomes unhealthy is when you do give your power over to it. When you find yourself going down a rabbit hole of judgment, it may be time to take a step back and reassess your intention for posting and being online.

After a break, I found myself timid to get back online. I was worried that I would get stuck in my old patterns again. I also noticed that I was making myself wrong for wanting to be on Social Media. Worry creates interesting cycles sometimes. The good news is that I can use my tools to tune back in and ask myself, “Is what I’m posting and consuming helpful or harmful for the greater good?”

What is your relationship with Social Media? I’d love to know in the comments below.

Questions to Ask Yourself about Your Social Media Habits

1. Do I find myself habitually checking Social Media apps before going to bed and/or as soon as I wake up in the morning? What is the purpose for checking? Am I afraid I may miss something? Notice how much time you spend online and make note of whether it’s healthy or harmful. Are you addicted to being online and constantly checking updates and notifications?

2. Why am I posting this? Is what I’m posting contributing to the greater good? Before you post, ask yourself these questions. Is what you’re posting or sharing in alignment with who you are and what you stand for?

3. Am I posting just so others see me and know that I’m “in” the conversation? Performative posting has become a trend on Social Media. People are posting and sharing content around movements happening so that others will see them as “taking action”. Yet, in reality they don’t really care about being involved with the issue at hand. It’s something to check off their list. Again, assess why you’re posting. Do you care more about being seen as taking a side rather than actually contributing?

4. What type of content am I consuming online? Does it uplift and motivate me, or does it deflate and put me in a negative mood? Notice the accounts that you follow. Are they lifting your spirit and raising your vibration? Or are they causing resentment, judgment, comparison, etc.? If they are impacting your being in a negative way, consider unfollowing those accounts or pausing from looking at them for a certain period of time. This could even include friends that you follow.

5. Am I getting online to avoid doing work or projects I’ve committed to? Am I using Social Media as a distraction? Notice if you’re getting online out of habit or as a distraction from taking action in other areas of life. If you find yourself resisting or avoiding what you’re supposed to be doing, notice if Social Media (or media in general…video games, streaming TV) is contributing to that avoidance and resistance.

6. What is My Intention for Being on Social Media? Own what works for you. Find a rhythm that fits your “Why” and your lifestyle. Take breaks when you need to and show up when you’re feeling aligned and ready to connect.

If you find yourself stuck in a spiral and in need of support, schedule a Deep Clarity Session. I would love to support you in gaining clarity and creating ways that will help you move forward.

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