A Brief History of Transformation
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How often do you reflect on your journey and how far you’ve come?
Lately, it seems like experiences from my past are resurfacing. I’m back to living with my sister and her family after 3-4 years of living in other places. I’m back in Dallas where I left 2 years ago while starting my nomadic journey. I’ve reconnected with relationships in my life that took various turns in the past. I said ‘Yes’ to a retreat not knowing where the money is going to come, and trusting that it will.
While these experiences feel the same, they’re different this time. I’m not the same person I was 5, 3, or even 1 year ago.
I used to think that a year was a long time. I remember when I was interviewing for jobs post college, I got offered a job working in PR for Dave Ramsey. They wanted a minimum of a 2-year commitment. All the “what ifs” popped into my mind. I was afraid to commit and thought I’d be trapped if something better came along. So, I turned it down and accepted a job at my apartment leasing office (not knowing I would be there for 11 years).
When I started my career, I stayed because it was safe and comfortable. I was afraid to ask myself what I really wanted. I was afraid that if I really listened, I would find out that it wasn’t attainable for me. So, I stayed. I pushed my dreams aside and waited for someone or something to come along and rescue me. And guess what? No one came.
It wasn’t until I said ‘Yes’ to transformation and trusting in divine timing that things began to change.
With all of the familiar feelings and experiences resurfacing lately, I’ve taken the time to reflect on how far I’ve come. It can be easy to forget sometimes. Past experiences can resurface, and we can box ourselves into thinking that we’ll be back to where we were. When I reflect on my journey over the past 5 years, I am present to all that has taken place to get me to where I am today, and where I’m going.
2015
I was depressed and feeling like I’d never seen the light. I sought therapy and slowly began taking steps towards healing. I enrolled in a seminar on Living a Life of Velocity at Landmark Worldwide. I modeled in my first transformational photoshoot with Ashlie Woods which opened my eyes and heart to my own beauty.
2016
I continued participating in seminars with Landmark. I attended my first Wildhearted Retreat with Ashlie Woods in Austin, TX. This retreat started my journey and practice of meditation and learning to tune inward.
2017
I dubbed this as the Year of Action. I joined CorePower Yoga and committed to nurturing my physical and mental health. I attended 200 yoga classes that year. I started my blog, Wandering Aunt. I attended my first international meditation retreat in Guatemala, where I met my soul sister, Brandan. It was on this retreat that I got clear that I was playing it safe in life and knew it was time to quit my corporate job and follow my dream of traveling the world. I enrolled in the Self Expression Leadership Program (SELP) with Landmark and was present to being a Leader (something I had given up on when I started college). I signed up for Yoga Teacher Training after the owner said she saw me as a teacher and believed in me. After 7 years of being in Dallas, I finally found my soul tribe who I’m still dear friends with to this day.
2018
I turned in my notice with my company of nearly 11 years. My incredible team was so supportive of me following my dream of traveling the world. I attended my 3rd Wildhearted Retreat in Mexico where I got clear that “I know what I want. I just don’t commit.” I committed to my dream and booked a one-way ticket to Australia. I said goodbye to my first solo apartment, sold my furniture and many belongings. I sold my car to support my nomadic life. I said goodbye to my secure life and set off to Australia on a one-way ticket with one month’s pay, a quarter of my bonus, and only $500 in savings. I spent the next 8 months traveling across 11 countries on 5 continents. I began modeling in photoshoots (Mexico, Colombia, Argentina) for my own self-expression and mission to support local photographers, designers, and stylists. I also attended World Domination Summit for the first time and found a tribe of people like me who are living unconventional lives. I attended my 4th Wildhearted Retreat in Peru and got to visit Manchu Pichu. I began a coaching journey with Allison Field.
2019
After cashing in my 401k at the end of 2018, I knew it was time to start creating new streams of income. I began freelance writing and started Wandering Aunt Travels to support others in designing the trip of their dreams. After receiving a clear sign, I took a big leap and signed up for a yearlong coaching program with Darla LeDoux and Julie Flippin of Sourced. I put my worth to the test and invested in myself and my future. It was during this program that I discovered being an Intuitive and learned to let go of conditioning and outdated beliefs. I continued to travel the world and model in photoshoots in Paris, Minneapolis, Spain, Morocco, & New Zealand. I spoke onstage at my first international conference at 7in7 in New Zealand—a dream come true! While modeling in a photoshoot in Morocco, I found love and began dating a wonderful man. It was the first committed relationship I had allowed in my life since high school.
2020
I rang in the New Year in Tunisia with my love. When I returned to the states, I went on a solo retreat in Colorado where I got a clear message to end this relationship and focus on my relationship to myself. Heartbroken, I listened to my inner guidance and trusted that it was for the best. I thought my heart was going to burst from sadness. I worked with Leslie Boren to document my sadness and pain through a vulnerability photoshoot which brought great healing. The following week, COVID hit and I found myself grounded with my sister and her family in Dallas. My travel design business came to a halt. I tuned inward and began showing up for myself in ways I haven’t before. I created boundaries in my life and chose Me for the first time. I became a recovering people pleaser.
I deepened my meditation practice and learned more about my intuitive gifts. I started offering Intuitive sessions to support others in being seen through clarity and connection. I completed my yearlong coaching program and became a Certified Retreat Leader. It was at the end of this program where I was confronted with my biggest fear—Asking. I realized that I don’t ask for support and have lived under the agreement that “I must do it all on my own”. I had no idea this one area would control so much of my life. At the end of June, I returned to Colorado. While climbing Mt. Garfield, I realized that I thrive off challenges. The question “What is My Mountain?” came to me. I got the clear message: Write 30 blogs in 30 days. After completing the blog challenge, I was chosen to write a chapter in an anthology on transformation called Transformation 2020. The blog challenge also provided clarity for what I’m writing in my first book (coming 2021).
Writing out my brief history of transformation reminded me of how far I’ve come. It made me think back to the woman who was afraid to say ‘Yes’ to her dreams; the one who couldn’t see her own beauty; the one who didn’t believe she was worthy of receiving. That woman is a part of me and always will be. She is my reminder that I can do hard things. She’s my reminder that while following the heart is not always the easiest path, it’s the most rewarding.
Each person’s journey of transformation looks different. The key is to own your journey and your pace, and most importantly, trust.
Transformation is a journey. It’s not a one-time fix. It takes practice and showing up again and again. It takes learning to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. It takes leaning into the pain, the uncertainty, and the curiosity. It takes saying ‘Yes’ to your desires and doing the work to bring them to life.
My journey is not your journey. I honestly don’t know many people who would follow my exact path. Why? Because it’s my path. I had to learn things the way that I learned them. I have wanted to quit many times. I’ve been tempted to go back to a steady job, but the deep knowing within me says to keep going, to keep believing, to keep trusting, and to keep taking inspired actions.
Trust in divine timing and trust that you are on the right path.
The moment you feel like you’re off track, stop, and ask for guidance. Ask your Spiritual Guides, a trusted coach or mentor, or find an Oracle to guide you in discovering the answer to your question. Know that you don’t have to do it all alone. You can receive support the moment you ask. I certainly would not be where I am today without my amazing army of support.
2020 has been asking a lot of me—to slow down, tune in, set boundaries, own my intuitive gifts, claim myself as an Oracle, focus on my business and how to best serve others using my gifts, write and share my voice, Ask for what I want, need, and desire, and trust like I’ve never trusted before. I’m learning to receive support, answers, and money (still learning this one).
I’m retiring my belief that I have to do it on my own.
Yesterday I said ‘YES’ to a plant-based medicine retreat in the Andes Mountains in Ecuador. I’ve been receiving visions of being on this retreat for about 4 months now. I kept brushing it off, and it kept coming back. I even said ‘Yes’ to this retreat in July and then I got scared and backed out. I was afraid that I wouldn’t earn the money to pay for this retreat and invest in my growth. I thought this time, I was supposed to say ‘No’. I thought it wasn’t the right timing for me to be on this retreat so I ignored the calling. A couple of weeks ago, I saw that the retreat was happening. Ecuador re-opened its borders and lifted the 14-day quarantine. I tuned in and once again, got a clear ‘Yes’ that I was meant to be on this retreat. I committed to going, and I can already feel a shift. I have no idea why I’m being called to be on this particular retreat, and I’m trusting that it’s for my highest good and the highest good of all.
The moment you say ‘Yes’ to what you’re meant to be doing, magic happens.
While life comes full circle, I believe that this time is different. This isn’t any retreat or getaway. This is the retreat that is causing me to step up to the playing field on a whole new level than I have before. It’s causing me to show up in ways I haven’t before, to be consistent in sharing my voice, to move through my fear of asking and ask for support, and to ask for you to trust me and my continued growth.
When is the last time you said ‘Yes’ to something that your soul was calling you to? How did you feel when you said Yes? How did it turn out after? I’d love to hear your story and experience. Share in the comments below or send me a message!
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