Finding Resilience While Wandering in the Desert
/My 7-year old niece loves to play the ‘Would You Rather Game’. Would you rather smell like a dog or smell like a cat? Would you rather have a pet fish or a pet turtle? Would you rather be 10 feet tall or 10 inches tall? She often sends me these questions from the Facebook Messenger Kids app. I always reply with the first answer that pops into my head.
This afternoon we were chatting and she asked me, “Would you rather spend a year living in Antarctica or spend a year living in the desert?” I thought about this for a moment. “The desert,” I replied. “Because I know that it will at least cool down at night and offer some relief.”
She moved on from that while I sat on the couch pondering the question some more. It was ironic. This morning I had woken up around 6 am with my mind racing. I found myself in one of my deep spirals with thoughts and questions swirling round and round. I took some time to meditate and journal. I wrote out one of my favorite verses from Proverbs, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding,” and then proceeded to journal about my journey and current phase of doubting, trusting, and finding strength. Trust is one of my Words for 2020, and I’m constantly being reminded to lean in. On the next page I wrote the words:
I AM RESILIENT.
I tuned in for some quiet meditation and guidance. I pulled a card about a specific area in my life that I’ve been spiraling over and over, and got the below message.
“Do you feel as if you’ve been wandering in the desert now for ages and ages and nothing is happening? When you conjure up the image of a desert, you picture parched lips, sunburned skin, and mirages—but there is more to it than that. Amid the hot sands are creatures with resilient spirits, tough skins, and the willingness to burrow deep underground for water so that they may thrive. This is a time of developing survival skills and resilience. You are learning how to conserve your strength, and in this temporary time of austerity, it’s wise to be selective about where you expend your energy. Listen to the call of your soul, because it will never lead you astray. This is an important time for letting go of what’s not important.” - Go the Distance, Wisdom of the Oracle
I’ve pulled this card several times over the past 2 years since leaving the corporate world and my conventional life behind. I’ve often felt like I’m wandering aimlessly in search of my calling, my purpose, the thing that’s going to be my big break. And while I have not been stagnant, I wonder sometimes if I’ll ever see through the mirages and be moved into a place of thriving instead of surviving.
Recently when I was climbing Mt. Garfield in Colorado, the conditions seemed much like the desert. It was hot and very dry. The conditions were more extreme than what I’m used to. I made sure to bring plenty of water and keep my wrap over my face to protect me from the hot dusty wind. As I was walking, I noticed lizards running and hiding among the rocks. Every time I’d pass a lizard, I’d greet it and say, “Hi, Lizzy.” There were a lot of Lizzy’s. It made me feel like I was connecting to the life there. I remember passing a sweet green plant growing out of a rock in the hot sun. I was amazed to see so much life. As I passed the plant I thanked it for its breath.
Seeing life in the midst of these harsh conditions caused me to connect with the land and remind myself that even in the toughest of environments, life is sustainable.
2020 feels like a desert in many ways and like we’re constantly wandering around as if nothing is getting better. We’ve been thrown obstacle after obstacle, and when it seems it can’t get any worse, another traumatic event happens. The world feels like it’s been turned upside down. We’re all wandering through a desert both individually and collectively. We experience good days and bad. It’s like a coin toss each day—we never really know how we’re going to feel when we wake up. We’re waiting for the day to come when this will all be a memory.
It’s important to protect your energy and take extra care of yourself—especially during a pandemic.
When you’re wandering in a desert, you must find ways to nourish yourself and replenish your resources. It’s vital to your livelihood and the livelihood of others. It’s important to find shade from the wind and limit what you consume (whether that be media, the news, relationships that are not supportive of your growth, etc), and find ways to sustain your strength. Remind yourself that while it may not always feel like it, you are resilient. Just as life in the desert finds ways to thrive among harsh conditions, we too, are learning ways to survive and thrive during this unprecedented time. Each of us is resilient in our own ways. We have bounced back before, and we will bounce back again.
sitting on the edge of the summit of mt. garfield
You are not alone and neither am I.
While my journey and wandering in the desert is different than yours, it is comforting to know that I’m not alone. I often feel so isolated on my journey and as if no one understands me. I feel like I’m the only person who has ever wandered in a desert before. Yet, feeling and knowing are not the same. I know that I am not alone. I know that we all face our own periods of wandering and wondering when “it” is going to happen. I know to trust and not lean on my own understanding. And, I know that there is resilience even in the harshest of conditions.
On the page in my Super Attractor Journal where I wrote, “I AM RESILIENT”, there is an affirmation written:
I am patient knowing that whatever is of the highest good is coming to me.
Patience. Trust. Resilience. Guidance.
Even in the desert, there is water to be found. Even in the desert, new life is forming every day. Even in the desert, the sun will set and the coolness of the night sky will offer some relief.