Trusting the Path You Walk
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Where do you find answers to life’s deeper questions?
Throughout life, we go through various seasons that are entangled with life’s questions. Questions that cause us to ponder our existence (how we got here, who put us here, is there a who?), question our identity (uncover who we really are at the core), and question our path (where am I going? how do I know if I’m on the right path? what if I lose the path?). I’ve certainly spent my fair share of time exploring life’s deeper questions.
Many have told me that your 30’s are all about identity and self-discovery. When you’re in your 20’s you’re exploring what boundaries are, learning responsibility, and living life with space for making mistakes. When you enter you’re 30’s, you have more experience adulting under your belt, and enter a period of inquiry around identity and ownership.
When I was in my 20’s, I was focused on graduating college early, getting an apartment and a job—aka being in the adult world. I wanted to move onto the next phase — mostly because I had no plan or idea for what I wanted for my life. I thought by stepping into a big kid job that life would show me where to go and what to do. The path didn’t feel clear to me. I was a hard worker with drive and ambition. I dedicated myself to my work. I climbed the ladder and reaped the benefits of being in the corporate world.
At the end of 2010, my company moved me from Nashville, Tennessee to Dallas, Texas. Other than the semester I studied abroad, I had never lived anywhere outside of Tennessee. It was my home and all that I knew. The timing to leave Nashville felt right though. It was time to start a new chapter in Dallas. The move was scary and exciting. I invested in a brand new car because I didn’t think my little Saturn would make the long journey. My friends and family were supportive (even though my friends made it clear they didn’t like that I was going to Texas). It was a difficult choice to leave them.
The beauty of this move was that my oldest sister and her husband had moved to Dallas just 8 months prior to me. They were living in Cincinnati at the time, and my sister’s job transferred her to Dallas. It was no coincidence we were both moving to the same city; the whole move was divinely orchestrated.
I was on the cusp of turning 26 when I moved to Dallas. I was mourning the crossover from 25 into the last half of my twenties, and missing my friends. I went through many ups and downs. I ended up getting an apartment with my sister and her husband. We moved into a fancy high rise across from the Galleria mall (which was exciting and dangerous for my bank account).
Moving to a new city and being on my own, was my first step into self-discovery. I began “dating” churches all over the city trying to find where I fit in. It was the first time I was on my own to choose without the influence of family or friends. I spent more than a year searching until I finally found a church that I felt connected to.
It takes a while to adjust to a new city, learn your neighborhood, and find a community. It took me a couple of years to find community. And during that whole time I continued to travel. I felt more at home traveling than I did living in Dallas (or the US). Dallas was comfortable, but it wasn’t where my heart was. I felt more alive when I was off traveling and discovering new places. Life was less predictable, which created even more excitement for me. It was during this transition that I began asking some of life’s deeper questions.
The more questions I asked, though, the more confused and lost I became.
I began to question why I was in Dallas and living with my sister. I began to question my beliefs and started asking deeper questions. I began being frustrated with my job and dreamed about doing something else. Traveling was where I felt most alive. Every time I would go on a trip and visit a new country, my wanderlust and desire to see more expanded. But my desire didn’t make sense. I was on the path I was on. Why would I try to stray from a good, comfortable, safe path?
“Traveler, there is no path. The path is made by walking.”
Asking life’s deeper questions caused me to create a new path.
After going on my first meditation retreat, I got clear that I was playing it safe in life and that it was time to follow my heart. I was nervous and excited to admit that I was going to quit my job to travel the world. As I was preparing for my transition, I came to a fork in the road. I was presented with the opportunity to join Yoga Teacher Training. I was an active yogi, but didn’t have teaching yoga or getting certified on my radar. Yet, if you know anything about me, you know that I don’t make concrete plans nor commit to things far in advance. I felt a nudge that this was the right direction to go. I put down a deposit and signed up for Teacher Training the day before it started. It didn’t make sense to participate in this training. I was moving and needed to save money for my big jump. Yet, life presented an opportunity and I took it.
Oddly enough, it was also the time when I found my tribe. I had been in Dallas for nearly 7 years and was not planning to make new friends. The universe had other plans for me though. Those friends have stuck with me throughout my journey and hold a dear place in my heart. It was another divine timing orchestrated by Spirit.
This was proof to me that when presented with a Fork in the Road, choice is the only option we have. There is an oracle card from the Wisdom of the Oracle deck that I’ve pulled many times over the years for myself and others called “Fork in the Road”. The message reads:
“Every choice has a consequence. You've arrived at a fork in the road and are being asked to come to a decision. Will you further your dreams by choosing left? Or by choosing right? Will you take the road less traveled or the one well worn by others who have come before you? This is your choice, and yours alone, to make. Circumstances and other people will not make if for you. Be present, and do not avoid this junction, for it is an important crossroads. Take heart, as no matter which path you choose, you will have a rich and meaningful experience.” - Colette Baron-Reid, Wisdom of the Oracle
Sometimes it feels like we’re wandering around aimlessly on the wrong path.
I often question if the path I’m on is the “right” one. I question my identity and life purpose. I question if I made the right choices. Sometimes I feel like I’m wandering around aimlessly with no clear direction. When I’m grounded and present, I can look at my life more clearly. I can remind myself that there is no right path; all paths are created by me taking one step and then another. Each step leads me closer to my truth. Each path leads to rich and meaningful experiences. I can look back at the paths I’ve chosen to take and see why I chose the direction I did.
It’s taken me 35 years to accept that my path looks different from everyone else. Part of my struggle, confusion, and feeling of being lost is from not owning who I am and how I operate. When I’m hiking, it’s clear that I’m on my own path. I may follow a trail but I don’t follow a map. I use my intuition to guide me which direction to take. And when I lose track of where the path is, I pause, ask for guidance and allow myself to be led a new way.
The path will soon become clear.
You may not be in a space to receive this, but Trust. No matter which path you’re on, it will become clear. Trust. Allow life to show you why you’re on the path you’re on. Ask if you’re meant to move forward or turn a different way. In time, the path will become clear and you’ll know why you chose to go the direction you chose.