Becoming Brave
/In the summer of 2020, I received a clear message from the Universe to write 30 blogs in 30 days. It was quite a challenge. I love writing and typically don’t have an issue coming up with ideas for content. However, writing a blog post every day for 30 days was a different story. Every day I would tune in and ask for inspiration on what to write. I utilized inspiration from my Oracle cards and nature. Several times throughout the challenge, my (at the time) 7-year old niece would say, “Auntie, how about you write about how brave you are?” I would smile, thank her for the idea, and go back to tuning in.
What she couldn’t see was the internal processing I was going through. Every time she would suggest I write about being brave, the voice in my head would say, “You’re not brave. You can’t write about that.”
To the outside world, I seemed like someone who was brave, yet on the inside, I felt like a fraud.
Yes, I had quit my career to travel the world. Yes, I had sold most of my belongings to become a nomad. Yes, I had soulo traveled to 20 countries across six continents. Yes, I had invested tens of thousands of dollars in myself for my own growth and transformation. Yes, I had started a business with no cushion to fall back on. Yes, I had even stood one with nature naked in the Albanian Alps. Yes, I had been skydiving and bungee jumping, and so on.
To me, those areas are adventurous and daring but they didn’t feel brave. I would hear the lyrics of Sara Bareilles’s song ‘Brave’ in my head:
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
And they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight sometimes the shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you
Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out
Honestly, I wanna see you be brave with what you want to say.
Words. Speaking up. Sharing my voice. Telling my truth even when it’s messy. That’s what being brave seemed like to me.
I thought about all the times I held back from speaking up and sharing my voice. All of the times I people-pleased and diminished what I wanted in order to avoid conflict and ensure everyone else was happy. All of the times I kept quiet because I didn’t think that telling someone how I really felt would matter because deep down I felt like I didn’t matter, or I was afraid they would think less of me if they knew what I really believed.
Old stories and internal beliefs truly can block us from seeing who we really are.
When I look back at this time during my life, I can see how lost I was in old stories and internal beliefs. I was not remembering all of the times I had spoken up and told my truth or put out a piece of work that was scary for others to see. It’s similar to receiving a bunch of praise or compliments and then receiving one bad comment. It’s in that moment we forget all of the good that was shared and focus only on the hurtful thing someone said.
Old patterns die hard.
So why am I writing about this now…two years later? After a recent phase of truthful conversation after truthful conversation (be careful what you write as an intention on a post-it, it will show up), I started to think about what it is to be brave. I’ve had many difficult, honest conversations recently which have caused me to reflect on where I was two years ago and how much I’ve grown since then. I still cringe or feel fear when I’m faced with a difficult conversation with another. Whether it’s restoring integrity and taking ownership for something I did or didn’t do, sharing with someone how their actions caused me to feel hurt, sharing feelings that I have for another without knowing how it will be received, or speaking up when I don’t agree with another’s projection or advice, these conversations aren’t easy, yet they’re so rewarding.
I realized I do feel brave when I engage and share my voice.
These conversations and opportunities caused me to ask and ponder, “What does it mean to be brave?”
Rather than my usual, ‘look it up in the dictionary and write about my thoughts on the matter’, I decided to ask my audience. I was curious to hear what others had to say about being brave and what it means to them in their own lives. The responses absolutely blew me away. I was so touched by each and every comment and point of view—and not just by the answers, but by the bravery each person embodied in sharing their responses and entrusting me to hold it for them. Some responded directly to my post, while others sent me private DMs. For the purposes of privacy, I’ve kept these responses anonymous. And for the purpose of simplicity, I’ve done my best to categorize them for a smoother way to digest the comments.
What does it mean to you to be Brave? Let’s see what others have to say.
Being Brave is taking action inside of fear.
Demonstrating strength while scared or afraid.
Being brave is facing your fears and watching them disappear or doing things despite fear.
Bravery is taking the one small step forward when it would be easier/more comfortable/expected to stay put.
I think being brave is doing something even if it makes you fearful. I think being brave is also doing you, even if it's not what other people think or expect you to do.
Brave is perseverance for me. It can get scary to keep pressing forward when results aren't profound or immediate.
For me, bravery is doing the things I don't wanna do but know I have to.
Being Brave is speaking up and sharing your voice.
Speaking your truth and sharing your story even when your voice shakes.
Speaking your truth when others disapprove or minimize it.
Bravery is speaking your truth in voice or written form that has been pushed down for too long. Stepping into your body wisdom of knowing it's time to move forward and taking the actions to begin the process.
Being Brave is releasing control.
I feel that I need to be brave when I’m pushing through and trying to do something on my own, under my own power, instead of aligning my vibration with Source who would make things go with ease. Bravery is putting up with being out of alignment unnecessarily.
Choice or free will appears to be confined to a range of possibilities. Expanding this range ↔ what has been unthinkable...may equate to bravery. As we develop capacities, what might be available could be a discipline of diminishing the import of knowledge while embracing wonder. Human design provides for questioning. It may be this quality that provides capacities ... what we are willing to question requires the subject at hand.
Being Brave is not easily felt or experienced by the person being brave.
For me, bravery is always required to do scary things. But the irony is that when I'm being brave I never feel brave. I think it's easy to think of others as brave when you see them doing things that would be scary for them or you, but I know that for me even when I look brave I am usually terrified inside! So there can be a mismatch between being brave and feeling brave in my opinion.
I get confused when others tell me I'm brave for something that felt easy or a more comfortable choice for myself–because it would be brave for others from their perspective. And once you're past that initial choice or decision, for me it feels easier. Like my first tattoo felt like a big deal, and now I walk around with lots of visible ink without a thought about it.
Many of our guests tell me: Wow, you were so brave to move to Ecuador and to build the eco-resort. I always answer that I was many things but surely not brave. Because of bravery, you need to do something you are afraid of and I was never afraid of doing what I did. Another example, to do sky diving, I really would need bravery because I am scared to shit of heights and I guess I will never do it in my life, due to lack of bravery.
Being Brave is being present to life.
For me being brave is living with the living and not living with the dead (I'm a young widow). It's about waking up and feeling in awe that I'm alive to see another day and being brave enough to make decisions throughout the day towards living; making choices to fill my heart and soul with things that bring me joy and living authentically with gratitude.
Bravery for me right now is getting out of bed. It sounds silly but I really don’t want to wake up after losing my soul mate. So yeah, getting out of bed is my bravery I think.
Being brave is a state of being where courage is found in the moments.
Being Brave is owning who you are.
To me being brave is being able to live life on your own terms, fully accepting who you are as a person.
Honoring myself over everything else.
Being Brave is moving through discomfort.
Being brave means many things to me …summoning the courage within to do what feels right for the highest good, pursuing one’s dream when one’s desire becomes greater than one’s discomfort.
Recognizing discomfort and embracing it anyway.
Being Brave is showing up.
Being brave is being willing to put ourselves out there when we would rather hide.
So I’ll double, triple, and quadruple what most of the others said: Facing your fears, your sadness, whatever „bad“ feeling is brave. Finding compassion and forgiveness for all of that is even braver. Then showing up as you are, different, broken in places and mended in others, still healing and figuring things out, is the master class.
Being Brave is standing up for others in the face of adversity.
Since I was young I thought the bravest people have been the ones that take leadership and that do not go along with the “in” crowd. Seeing others stand up for others being bullied is the bravest of the brave to me.
Being Brave is vulnerable. These responses are vulnerable, inspiring, and connect humanity on a deeper level.
What I am present to in reading others’ responses to being brave is that Brave looks different to each person yet holds a common denominator—strength and courage to take action when it would be easier to do nothing. So for some of us, speaking up and sharing our voice is a brave thing to do, while to others, it’s just a conversation. For some traveling to foreign lands or getting out of bed seems natural while to others it takes great strength and courage.
Being brave is a practice. It’s continuing to face discomfort and take action inside of it.
Even in writing this post, I was faced with my own discomfort. In 2019, I was hiking in the Albanian Alps with a couple of friends. We came across this secluded area with a waterfall and the most epic view. When I saw the waterfall, my first thought was, “Oh, I’d love to get naked and stand under that.” But I was in nature. Hikers could walk up and see me. And before I could think about it further, I looked over and saw my friend Audrey strip down. She had the same idea. When I saw her have the courage to do this, it gave me the courage and reassurance to know that my idea wasn’t crazy! So I bravely stood up and started to undress. It was so liberating. I felt connected to nature in ways I hadn’t before. I haven’t shared this experience or any of my photos. At the time, it was purely for my own liberation and documentation. However, in writing this post, I knew it was another layer of discomfort for me to move through in allowing myself to be seen in this way.
Being brave is a great act of trust and faith. It’s journeying on the road less traveled.
Being brave is not always linear and will come and go throughout our lives and shift from one area to the next. Keep leaning in. Keep showing up. Keep reminding yourself of how far you’ve come.
An Exercise in Becoming Brave
I woke up at 2:57 am the other night with words flowing out of me. It was a great reminder for me after reading all of these beautiful raw interpretations of what it means to be brave. And what I realized is that I am in fact very brave. I grabbed my phone and captured this in my Notes app:
I am actually one of the bravest people I know. I have taken so many chances. Put my heart on the line. Followed my dreams. Traveled to unknown places without knowing the language. Trusted complete strangers. Said ‘Yes’ again and again and again. Tried on many things. Invested tens of thousands of dollars in myself. Pursued my creations out of sheer excitement and curiosity without focusing on money. Continued to show up after being rejected again and again. Most would’ve given up after the first ‘No’ or setback. I’m not most people. I’m willing to risk everything for the chance of ‘What if?’ At the risk of pursuing, “If I don’t go, I don’t know.” I’ve blazed my own trails. I’ve found a new door open every time a door has closed. I’ve befriended the darkness and faced many dark nights of the soul to release old patterns, stories, and layers.
So yes, I am brave. I just wasn’t in a space to fully see it or recognize it until now. And I bet that you are much braver than you think.
Embodying Bravery
Questions to answer for recognizing your own bravery:
When have you had a conversation that scared or intimidated you and left you feeling empowered?
When have you spoken up for your needs?
When did you take a chance on something without knowing how it was going to go?
When have you followed your heart, your gut, your intuition?
When have you stayed when everyone else told you to go?
When have you walked away when everyone around you told you to stay?
When have you said ‘No’ to something that wasn’t aligned for you?
When have you said ‘Yes’ to something that scared you?
When have you done something that felt really difficult or challenging?
When have you forgiven someone who hurt you?
When have you forgiven yourself?
When have you stood up for someone or taken a stand for a cause you believe in?
When have you owned a mistake and used it to learn from?
When have you told someone you love them or shared your feelings with them?
When have you risked losing someone or something in order to honor your truth?
There are many questions to ask and answer. I hope that these will inspire you to recognize your own bravery and write your own declaration about being the bravest person you know.