The Future of Not Knowing
/Today is my Nomadiversary.
It’s one year from the day that I gave up my security, predictable lifestyle, and chose to make the world my home. And what’s wild is that I’m back in the city where I left. Only this time, I have no car or home of my own, and I’m not here for good.
If you could see the future, would you still go after what you want?
If you had told me a year ago that I would be in Dallas on the anniversary of my adventures into nomadic life, I probably would not have believed you. And if I could’ve seen that a year of gallivanting across the world would put me back where I started, I likely would’ve resisted it. I would’ve tried to alter my future so I could say that I was somewhere more exotic or doing some great adventure on my Nomadiversary.
Taking a leap of faith involves stepping both feet in without the guarantee of knowing where you’ll end up.
So often in life we wish we could see the future. We wish we could know where we’re headed and what it’s going to look like. Even if we could see where we’d be, without context, we’d overlook the missing pieces and possibly stay stuck where we are. While being back in Dallas and sleeping on a mattress on the floor in my sister’s house isn’t where I thought I’d be a year later, I wouldn’t change any of it. Because each step of my journey lead me to this point. Had I known the future, I would not have fully understood why I was back here. I would’ve thought that I had failed in some way. And that is quite the opposite of what is really happening.
Without context and seeing the full picture, we are left to wonder, assume, or make up a story about what we think is going on.
This is why it’s not good to form assumptions about people. With social media, it’s so easy to think that someone has their whole life together and living it perfectly. We see a brief glimpse and think we know the whole picture. Or we see someone not working in the traditional sense and think they’re not trying or doing anything of value. It’s possible even you have been watching my story unfold and think that I’m just being lackadaisical or completely lost and have no clue what I’m doing with my life—and that would be a wrong assumption.
If I had seen the future, I would have missed the in-between. All of the moments, experiences (both good and bad) that brought me to this place. I look back at my journey and it seems so unreal to me at times. Like, WOW, I actually did it. I really quit my corporate job, sold my furniture, car, and set off to travel the world on a solo journey! I really went on amazing experiences, started a photoshoot movement, and met so many beautiful souls. But it’s real—all of it.
Every moment throughout my journey and every choice I made (whether good or bad) was meant to happen to bring me to where I am today.
One of the biggest lessons I learned last year was to not be attached to plans or people. In fact, that’s how my journey started. I left Dallas anxious and excited for this new chapter in my life, and it started with a halt. Due to weather, delays, and circumstances beyond my control, I missed my flight to Sydney by 2 minutes and was left stranded in Houston for 24 hours.
I was devastated at first. My first step into this new life, and it was a mess, until I found the value in it. I learned to let go of control and attachment to how I thought something should go. And from there, I continued to be pulled more and more from my want to control and shown what it was to surrender, let go, and trust what was to come.
If you saw all of the challenges and obstacles you’d face when following your heart and dream, would you still go?
We want life to be so easy and without pain, heartache, or discomfort. We want to play it safe. I played life so safe before. In fact, safety was my theme. I stayed in the same job for over a decade because I was afraid of committing to something else; I kept myself free from dating or relationships, because I didn’t want to get hurt; I lived for experience and in the moment, because I didn’t trust what would happen if I lived in the present and away from avoidance and distraction, and so on.
Looking back on my journey over the past year, I can see the beauty in every obstacle, hurdle, or disappointment that happened.
Each moment and experience broke the chains from my past and set me free.
Here are just a few examples of some of the obstacles I faced:
Missing my flight to Sydney on the first day of my journey
Getting sick in Thailand for nearly 2 weeks; weak and bed-ridden and not knowing when I would get better
Running around like a crazy person when I returned to the states only 7 weeks after being away. Trying to keep myself busy and distracted to avoid having to talk about what I was doing with my life
Meeting someone I really cared about and having to go through immense heartbreak when it didn’t go as I anticipated
More episodes of salmonella and sickness
Getting lost numerous times and not knowing the language to ask for directions or help
Ignoring my wants and desires out of fear of what other people would think
Nearly running out of money and not being clear on what I wanted to do to sustain this lifestyle and pay bills
Being back in the United States and grounded in the place I once lived
Feeling the weight of my Sly Fox persona and how it has ruled my life
I am glad in many ways that I didn’t know the future. If I had seen all of this beforehand, I would have asked - “Why the hell would I want to go through all of that? Why put myself through such heartache and discomfort?” I would’ve focused on the obstacle rather than the beautiful lessons that would be learned.
Traveling solo for 8 months completely changed my life.
It took great courage to step into the unknown and keep going when hard times surfaced. I gained so much confidence in who I am and learned to believe in myself and more importantly, OWN it. I deepened my spiritual relationship and learned what it is to embody faith and trust. I made so many beautiful connections all over the world; some for a day, some for life. I learned to let my guard down and enjoy the moment rather than focus on the “what ifs”. I took a chance on myself and stepped away from my culture, upbringing, and ways that society says to live. I found so much Bold Freedom and learned what it is to let go of plans and take everything one step at a time. And none of this would’ve happened had I stayed where I was.
One of my themes last year was “If you don’t go. You don’t know.” And that is so true. If I didn’t go, I would’ve never known or experienced all that I know now.
If you don’t take a chance on yourself or go after something you want, you’ll never know.
Coming back to where I started is me taking a chance on myself. I could’ve continued to run and explore, but in reality, I needed this time to be grounded. I’ve learned that having a routine and a little bit of structure actually moves me forward rather than constricts me. It’s allowed me time to reconnect with my community and support and has shown me that it feels good to receive. I am so grateful to my friends and family here who have supported me unconditionally. I’ve continued to take risks and step into the unknown by enrolling in coaching programs to propel me forward, take on freelance and job opportunities to support me financially, and start my own business to own my gifts and talents.
Now that there’s context, I can see why I am where I am on my Nomadiversary.
And I have nothing but gratitude for my journey and how far I’ve come. I am so proud of myself on so many levels. I 100% own who I am and all I am creating, and I fully believe I am capable of doing what my heart desires.
Wherever you are in life, and whatever it is you’re creating or going after, do it. Trust yourself to know the right next steps to take and honor wherever you are. When setbacks occur, know that they are there to remind you of why you’re doing this. They’re strengthening who you are as a human being, and showing you that you really are capable of living a bigger, bolder life.
I am excited about the journey I’m on and all that I am creating. I cannot wait to meet the women who will trust me to guide them on their own journeys of Courage, Confidence, and Connection. Women who are looking to shake up their life and take a chance on themselves and their dreams, and need support in getting there.
I can’t see the future, nor do I know where I will be a year from now. And that’s okay. I don’t want to know. Knowing wouldn’t serve me the same as stepping into blind faith and asking for guidance to lead me each step of the way.
All I know right now is that I am continuing this nomadic journey, launching my business and creative projects, and jumping in with both feet excited to see where I land.
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets:
Whatever you can do or dream, you can begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”